J-Dubb's Theatre

Proposition for Greg Benson

2011-09-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

A video in which Greg Benson of Mediocre Films gets a proposition from a stranger with a mustache. Watch this video to find out if it's really as bad as it sounds.

Music by Kevin MacLeod

How To Lose Weight

2011-09-19T23:37:00.000-07:00

In this video, I give a demonstration on losing weight.

Music:
Onesion http://onision.net/index.php?/files/category/1-onision-music/
Kevin MacLeod http://incompetech.com/m/c/royalty-free/

I'm Back!!

2011-09-12T09:07:00.000-07:00

Where I discuss being back and Cake's new album.

Music by Kevin MacLeod
http://incompetech.com/m/c/royalty-free/

J-Dubb's Theatre Returns

2011-09-09T08:10:00.001-07:00

Attention people of the internets: J-Dubb's Theatre returns today!!

Berto Interviews Harry the Hipster

2011-07-04T10:14:00.000-07:00

Lamarr Wilson - Rich Munnich Awards

2011-06-29T00:39:00.000-07:00

This week's winner of the Rich Munnich awards is Lamarr Wilson of wilsontech1

CGI - Get a Clue Hollywood

2011-06-26T10:49:00.000-07:00

Clown Intervention

2011-06-18T08:56:00.000-07:00

J-Dubb has been brainwashed into a deadly cult, so Roach hires a deprogramer.

Clowns: The Life that's Meant for You

2011-06-10T16:36:00.000-07:00

A message from the Legion of Clowns. Learn the answer to this troubled world.

Ten Ways to Liven up a Job Interview

2011-06-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

In this economy, there are a lot of people looking for jobs. With so many people looking for jobs at one time, it is increasingly difficult to get hired, making for a lot of interviews. But fear not, the interview process doesn't have to be rigorous at all. In fact, it can be a lot of fun, if you make it that way. Here are ten things you can do to make your interview a pleasant experience.

10. The Medieval Bard
At some point, the interviewer will ask you some questions, such as "tell me a story about a time when you solved a problem at an old job." At this point, you will be challenged to impress the interviewer with a story. You can really make your stories stand out by presenting them in song.

Lean in close and engage your interviewer with an intense look in your eyes. Then begin your song slowly and dramatically:

One day while I was working for Intellecorp
We were having conflicts with our IPC reports

Then, let your song build up from there. Bonus: if the interviewer is a gay male, you will be a sure hire and he will even be likely to join you in song.

9. The Movie Announcer
Announce everything you say with your best impression of the movie announcer guy. When you walk in to the building, go up to the desk and say, "A man/woman, searching for an opportunity awaits the interview of destiny." If the receptionist understands what you're trying to say, continue this throughout the interview.

8. It's a Family Thing
Have two friends accompany you wearing suits and sun glasses. Speak with an Italian accent. When asked who your two companions are, reply, "They're my people. Where I go, they go." This will be especially funny if you are blatantly not Italian, such as red haired, African, or Asian.

Be vague about your answers and end them with, "You know, family stuff." Cut the interview short and say, "Well, I've got to be going now. But I'll be seeing you Monday." Then look at one of your men and say, "Right Tony?" and laugh. You'll be hired.

7. Look Who's Talking
Bring in a ventriloquist dummy. Fill the time with much bickering between you and your wooden companion.

6. The Sound of Silence
Dress like a mime. Do not speak, just pantomime everything. It will be a lot like playing charades. How fun for the interviewer.

5. Call the Police
Show up dressed as a local police officer and ask for the person interviewing you by name. You can arrest this person, or tell them that a family member is in the hospital. When they are clearly distraught, say "Just kidding, I'm actually here for a job interview." If they act upset, scold them for not having a sense of humor.

4. Who's Interviewing Whom?
You interview the interviewer. When the interviewer stops you and says something like, "Wait, I'll be the one to ask the questions," simply let them proceed, and then work your answer into another question for them.

3. Childish Behavior
Send a child age 4 to 6 to take the interview for you in your name.

2. Life Coach
Be the interviewer's Tony Robbins. Ask questions such as "Are you happy?", and "If you had the opportunity to do whatever you wanted, what would it be?" Be sure to pepper in motivating statements such as, "I believe in you."

and number 1...

1. Propose to the Interviewer
Get down on one knee and really mean it. Be sure to have a ring, and maybe even work up some tears. Nothing would make you happier than to spend the rest of your life with the interviewer.

Hunted by Clowns

2011-06-03T16:40:00.000-07:00

I'm being chased by clowns. I try my best to do a vlog, despite this.

Hangover 2 and Donald Trump Lawsuits

2011-05-28T17:29:00.000-07:00

Who knew Heaven would be so drafty?

2011-05-21T16:24:00.000-07:00

The Legend of the Winekone

2011-05-21T00:39:00.000-07:00

In this addition of the Rich Munnich Awards, I discuss a classic YouTuber.

TheWineKone:
http://www.youtube.com/user/thewinekone

Music by Kevin MacLeod
http://incompetech.com/m/c/royalty-free/

J-Dubb's Theatre and Winter Hibernation

2011-05-16T13:14:00.000-07:00

One thing that's been consistent about J-Dubb's Theatre over the years is its tendency to hibernate through the winter and then wake back up for the summer. Towards the end of the year, I start winding down, and as soon as the year changes over, J-Dubb's Theatre goes into hibernation mode. Sure, I wake up occasionally to eat, drink, post my weekly video, and check in on my YouTube friends, but blog posts and tweets become rare, I comment on videos a lot less, and I spend little time going through my subscription page. I guess I tend to focus more on non-internet things during the beginning of the year.

Then, in the spring time, I start to stretch, get up, and leave the cave more often. This usually starts with the urge to reminisce. I'll go over old blog posts and tweets. I'll watch old videos; my own as well as others I've seen. And then I start checking into YouTube to see what I've missed. Before long I find myself wanting to get back into the swing again.

This year has been no exception. Without deliberate intention, my focus went elsewhere at the beginning of the year. But now that it's getting close to summer, the J-Dubb's Theatre bug seems to be coming back. It started with the urge to start blogging again just a few weeks ago, and now I'm beginning to check up on the YouTube community to see what I've been missing.

Year after year, for the last five and a half years, this has been the consistent trend. So, if history continues to repeat, which it seems to be so far, I guess I'm just about back.

What's up internets. J-Dubb here.

Tuesday Outtakes

2011-05-14T21:55:00.000-07:00

Tuesday - Official Rebecca Black Parody

2011-05-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

Yet another Rebecca Black parody. To sum up this video:
:p

All music is written by J-Dubb (though uncannily similar to the music in Friday)

Teaser

2011-05-08T10:02:00.000-07:00

I'm Pretty Much Stalling With This Video

2011-04-30T22:20:00.000-07:00

Expect Weird Weather

2011-04-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

How to Bring Back Dinosaurs

2011-04-19T13:36:00.001-07:00

You may not realize this, but for years now I've been plotting to bring back the dinosaurs. Back in the 90's, things seemed hopeful with the whole "DNA in mosquitoes trapped in amber" ploy, as seen in Jurassic Park. But that idea was short lived, and for the last decade, it has seemed that the only way we would ever see dinosaurs would be with the aid of a time machine.

Cloning dinosaurs from preserved DNA may be an impossibility, but I have found another solution. Once again, I am determined to make the modern dinosaur into a reality. My solution has three steps.

1. Selective Breeding

Instead of searching for ancient preserved DNA and utilizing unreliable cloning techniques, why not breed back the dinosaurs from their modern equivalent; birds.

People have used selective breeding to "breed back" certain types of animals to their ancestral form.

The ancestors of modern domestic cattle, the aurochs, have been extinct for quite some time now. Through selective breeding, hex cattle has been bred in order to restore cattle to its original form.

The tamascan dog is a breed of canine which has had the ancestral wolf traits bred back into it (minus the wanting to eat you trait) without using wolves in the breeding. Now families can effectively own a wolf as the family dog without getting eaten, which is the drawback to owning standard wolves.

I figure that using selective breeding, I can breed back birds to a more primitive species, such as the archaeopteryx.

I will begin with the hoatzin, an ancient breed of bird which is still alive today. Hoatzin chicks have claws at the end of their wings, used for climbing, which they lose into adulthood. I will breed hoatzins for the ability to retain their claws longer into their lives, until I have a breed which maintains its claws throughout adulthood. I will also look for genetic anomolies, such as three claws rather than the standard two claws, and breed these traits into the species.

I will breed for other achaeopteryx-like traits, too. As well, I will include other bird species into the breeding mix which have other such needed traits. Eventually I will have a new species of archaeopteryx-like bird.

2. Gene Splicing

Now, breeding birds back to a primitive bird species is one thing, but breeding birds back to dinosaurs presents several problems. For one, there are several dinosaur traits that birds just don't have anymore.

Another major problem, is that dinosaurs are descended from reptiles and birds from dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are closely related to reptiles whereas our new species of bird is that much further removed from reptiles.

Obviously, we can't breed the reptile back into these animals, so we'll have to look to gene splicing. Using reptile species related to those which dinosaurs descended from, I will splice back those reptilian traits such as the long tail and the reptilian teeth.

Using a combination of selective breeding and gene splicing, I can take the archaeopteryx back to the pterosaurs and from there breed back to the raptors. From that point, I can breed back to many other species of dinosaur.

3. Dinosaur DNA

So, now we've created a species which is kind of related to the dinosaurs and has the same bone structure. But there's still one problem; they're not actually dinosaurs.

This is where we incorporate actual dinosaur DNA. Instead of looking for complete strands of DNA from which to clone a full fledged dinosaur, we can just use the DNA scraps that we find and splice that into the animals just like we did with the reptilian DNA. Now we have our new species of dinosaur.

So, the formula is:

selective avian breeding + reptilian gene splicing + dino DNA
= neo dinosaurs

The Next Facebook Layout

2011-04-16T08:59:00.000-07:00

Join the "Change the Next Facebook Layout Back to the Current One!!" group:

RIP KUFO

2011-04-11T14:13:00.000-07:00

The Final Demise of Portland's 101 KUFO

About a year and a half ago, I wrote a post called, The Day the Radio Died. In this post, I discussed how the company, Alpha Broadcasting, acquired several Portland radio stations including 101 KUFO. Shortly after, the new management fired the iconic personalities of that station and replaced them with grab bag shock jocks in order to conform the station to a "by the book" demographic, rather than conducting actual market research.

I haven't paid any attention to, or even thought much about KUFO since that time. This is why, after a month, I have just now learned that KUFO has been taken off the air and replaced with a news/ talk radio station called KXL FM. I decided to cover this on J-Dubb's Theatre as a follow up to my previous coverage.

I dug around the web for stories and found that, interestingly, there hasn't been nearly as much coverage on the station's plug being pulled as there was on the firing of the personalities one and a half years ago. It seems that the city, for the most part, lost interest in the station after that, with the exception of a few niche hard core rockers.

At first, I was glad to learn that Alpha Broadcasting's arrogant attempt at "fixing" the station had failed. But as I read on, I began to feel kind of sad about it. KUFO has been around for a long time. I used to listen to it as a kid. In fact, I have kind of a history with the station.

I remember being a kid playing in my room with the radio tuned to KUFO.

After separating from the military, I worked security. For two years, I came in to work, sat down at the lobby desk, and changed the station to 101 KUFO, which I would listen to from 4pm to midnight. In the beginning, I would catch the end of the Cort and Boomer Show and then listen to the Tim Savage Show.

When I first began this very blog, my writing voice was inspired by Tim Savage. One could say that J-Dubb's Theatre, as it lives and breathes today, owes something to KUFO. I even had a link to KUFO's website in my sidebar.

Eventually, a guy calling himself, "Fatboy", began talking on the Cort and Boomer Show. At the time, I didn't know who he was or where he came from, but I thought he was funny. Before long, he replaced Boomer, and the show became The Cort and Fatboy Show.

KUFO brought in controversial DJ, Marconi, and The Marconi Show pushed The Tim Savage Experience later into the evening. In the beginning, I enjoyed The Marconi Show, and I listened to it for the remainder of my time working security. But as I transitioned into my late twenties, I grew tired of listening to a creepy 40-something trying to act like a frat-boy. I eventually removed the KUFO link from this blog.

When I started going to school full time, I listened to The Adam Corolla Show in the mornings on the way to school. This lasted for about a year, and then I began listening to just CDs.

In 2009, several things happened. For one, KUFO's Cort and Fatboy presented the last season of Battlestar Galactica at Portlands Baghdad Theatre, which I attended. Around the same time, one day, I decided to tune in to The Adam Corolla Show for old time's sake, only to find that it had been replaced by the Rick Emerson Show. I became a regular listener.

I also discovered that Marconi was no longer with KUFO and that Cort and Fatboy had taken over his old slot. At this point, I became heavily involved with KUFO. I even put their link back into my sidebar. I became interested in Portland media and for a while, this replaced YouTube as the main focus of J-Dubb's Theatre.

Then, in October of that year, Alpha Broadcasting fired the entire KUFO staff. For about a week, the station aired a mysterious count-down while intermittently announcing "mother ship refueling." After this, KUFO introduced their new staff, including a rehired Marconi, Kidd Chris, formerly of The Howard Stern Show, and a piece of work from Seattle named "Ricker." The KUFO link came back down from my sidebar.

J-Dubb's Theatre served as a supporter of Cort and Fatboy and of PDX.FM (now Cascadia.FM), the podcasting network which picked up the new Cort and Fatboy show and eventually the new Rick Emerson show.

For a year and a half after this, KUFO rarely crossed my mind. Then, March 15, 2011, KUFO's plug was pulled. Alpha Broadcasting's shotgun blast had been fatal, and KUFO had slowly bled to death. I learned of this April 10th.

RIP KUFO

On the plus side, perhaps I'll start using this blog for actual blogging again instead of just a port for my YouTube videos. Stay tuned...

Rich Munnich

2011-04-03T23:36:00.000-07:00

The first edition of my new channel review segment.

Random Update

2011-03-25T20:40:00.000-07:00

After two weeks of absence, I suddenly find myself on video.

Crank Call and Technical Difficulties

2011-03-06T07:50:00.000-08:00

4 Years of J-Dubb Here

2011-03-03T08:45:00.000-08:00

Anniversary Edition Part 2 of 2

2011-02-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

The conclusion to my fourth anniversary event.

Anniversary Edition

2011-02-26T11:04:00.000-08:00

Happy four years of J-Dubb's Theatre on YouTube!

Search Engine Frustration

2011-02-25T08:04:00.000-08:00

Searching on the internet can be frustrating at times. I don't know what I'd do with out it, though.

Any Questions About the Menu?

2011-02-24T09:34:00.000-08:00

YouTuber Sells YouTube Channel

2011-02-23T13:36:00.000-08:00

Since ThePeachofMeat sold his channel for $2300.00, I figured why not try it myself.

Be Prepared!!

2011-02-22T17:28:00.000-08:00

There's not much time left.

Here We Go Again

2011-01-02T16:53:00.000-08:00

So... 2011, huh?

I remember last year at this time, I felt like I was under a lot of pressure because I was on the verge of turning 30 and hadn't accomplished a lot of things that I wanted to accomplish by that time. In my mid 20s, I had set out to work on a PHD in psychology, but by January of last year, I was unemployed and single, and even though I had a community college degree, it was a far cry from the PHD I had set out for. Even on the more recreational side, my YouTube channel had become a ghost town. The day before my 30th birthday, I felt really discouraged.

But the day my 30s became a reality, something changed. There was a moment where I realized that my plans and aspirations generally had to do with appealing to other people's expectations. In fact, I didn't really even have any real plans. Just a bucket list of things that I figured should happen.

The day I turned 30, what I once viewed as a deadline became a point of liberation. I was free to do what I wanted and really live my life as I saw fit. It took a while and there were a lot of ups and downs. But, by the end of the year, I finally came up with a game plan. And along the way, I've enjoyed myself, thanks to my friends and family.

Now that it's January, back to the ol' beginning of the year grind, I think I'll reflect on the liberation that I experienced last year as I set my plans into action.

This post is part of a series of New Year's posts.
2010
2009
2008

J-Dubb's Theatre 2010

2011-01-01T20:20:00.000-08:00

So, that was a whole year, huh?

The Most Wonderful Time

2010-12-24T18:35:00.000-08:00

Have you ever really paid attention to the lyrics of that Christmas song, "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year"?"

Viewer Comments

2010-12-22T14:04:00.000-08:00

A video where I read viewer comments

My Apologies

2010-12-03T21:32:00.000-08:00

I am sorry for any offense that I intended toward these people.

The First Thanksgiving with Roach

2010-11-26T18:28:00.000-08:00

In this video, Roach tells tells the story of the first Thanksgiving.

A Really Good Video

2010-11-26T17:30:00.000-08:00

YouTube Survived!!

2010-11-13T00:35:00.000-08:00

Exactly one year ago, a vlogger named MrChiCity3 made a video called "YouTube is Dying (YouTube Exposed)". It pretty much seems fine now.

My Question For Greg

2010-11-05T16:39:00.000-07:00

Every Saturday, Greg Benson of Mediocre Films makes a video where he answers viewer questions and posts it to his second channel, mediocrefilms2. This is my question for Greg.

Nosferatu VI

2010-10-30T14:26:00.000-07:00

The first few Nosferatu Halloween posts dealt with things which drain ones energy, such as Banks with all their fees; things that suck blood in a metaphorical sense. The last couple were about fictional creatures that actually do drink blood, such as El Chupacabra and even Nosferatu themselves. Today, I'm going to talk about a real-life blood drinker.

The lamprey is an evil evil evil creature. Now, they don't typically drink human blood, they drink the blood of aquatic creatures. But still, look at that picture at the top of this post. What a horrible creature. Something that looks like this exists, but it shouldn't. There should not be anything that looks like that, which latches onto other creatures. It's just wrong.

We need to rid the world of this vile creature and we need to do it now! Remember the days when we used to gather in mobs with torches and pitchforks? Well, we need to do that again until all the lampreys are gone.

"But what about the ecological effects involved in the extinction of an entire species," you might be asking. My answer to this is that you need to look at the larger picture. No more lampreys! This is more important than any possible ecological side-effects.

Now, let me point out that not all lamprey species drink blood. In fact, only a few species do. The ones that don't are fine. Leave them be and just focus on the blood sucking ones.

Once the blood sucking lampreys are gone we will all sleep better at night. Let's make this happen people!

Thank you for taking the time to read this important message. Stay tuned for next year's edition of Nosferatu.

Send in the Clowns

2010-10-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

This is my third Halloween special as well as the final week of the Don Vantel Challenge. This video deals with a specific phobia.

Absolutely True Fact of the Week

2010-10-28T16:19:00.001-07:00

A vampire bat is a type of bird known for preying on human blood.

Superstar of the Week is Pennywise

2010-10-27T16:21:00.001-07:00

"Creepy clowns" seems to be the theme lately. But I figured while were on the topic, why not feature Pennywise for this year's Halloween Superstar of the Week. After all, he did a great job of scaring the $#*! out of me as a kid.

Once a year for a few years, when I was a kid, Steven King's "It" would air as a two part mini series. After watching the first half, I would go to bed completely creeped out. Funny thing is, I wasn't really creeped out by clowns, or necessarily even Pennywise. The movie itself just had a creepy feel. It was definitely one of the better of Steven King's made for TV movies.

The second night, after having seen the characters topple the monster which was behind Pennywise the Clown, I would always go to bed feeling refreshed.

Superstar of the Year is Keith Urban

2010-10-25T15:19:00.000-07:00

So, this Year I decided to make Keith Urban the Superstar. Now, I'm not necessarily a fan of Country music and I wouldn't recognize one of his songs if I heard it. There's a story behind my selection for the Superstar of the Year.

The other day, I was talking to someone who had already mentioned a dislike for Keith Urban in the past. When this person brought up Keith Urban in conversation that day, they basically said that Urban, as an Australian, has no business singing country music. He then made the comment "Why can't he sing Australian music?"

Therefore, I've decided to feature Keith Urban as the Superstar of the Year in honor of walking your own path despite those who would try to bring you down. There are a lot of people out there who get a thrill out of playing the authority on how others should live their lives. You could try to please them. But what you'll find is a lot of different people giving you a lot of conflicting directions on how you should be living. Who do you listen to? If you try to please them, you'll find yourself with no direction.

Keith Urban, who happened to be born in Australia instead of the United States, found that he had a passion for country music. He decided to sing country and has made a successful career out of it. He decided to follow his dream despite anybody who would tell him that he couldn't because he was born in the wrong place.

So hats off to Keith Urban in honor of everybody who has followed their dream. Also, let this be an inspiration to all who are still trying to find the courage.

Past Superstar of the Year Awards:

2009 - William Shatner
2008 - Alizee Jacotey
2007 - Peyton Manning
2006 - Chuck Norris

Our Political Candidates

2010-10-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

It's election time, YAY! Funny how people who want to hold government offices act like school kids at recess.

Choose YouTube

2010-10-16T12:22:00.000-07:00

Week number 2 of the Don Vantel Challenge: An advertisement for YouTube. Does this commercial make you want to use YouTube?

Five Years of J-Dubb's Theatre!!

2010-10-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

Well, looks like it's October 11th again, marking the fifth year of the web phenomenon known as J-Dubb's Theatre. This year's recap will be a little different. Instead of recounting just the previous year as usual, I'm going to write out a summary of each of the last five years.

Also, normally I post the Superstar of the Year on the Monday of anniversary week, but since today happens to be Monday I'll post that tomorrow instead.

And so without further adieu, I give you the past five years of J-Dubb's Theatre:

2005

One day, in October of 2005, a young 25 year old had a dream to do something or other on the internet. He happened upon a website called blogger.com, which allowed him to publish his own blog.

This young man used the name "J-Dubb" as a login for various forums and websites around the internet. This was a nickname he had received while in the United States Air Force. Since "J-Dubb" had pretty much become his online identity, he decided to name his blog, "J-Dubb's Blog." At the time, it looked something like this:

A little later, he decided to rename his blog, "J-Dubb's Theatre," as a play on the title, "Masterpiece Threatre." This was well before J-Dubb knew that J-Dubb's Theatre would actually be involved in theatrics later on down the road.

Five years later, J-Dubb would write a blog post where he would switch from third person perspective to first person perspective. This is that very blog post and this is the point where I switch to first person perspective...

So, one thing I have to say about 2005 is that I'm glad it's buried deep within the history of this blog. I've gone over my blog posts from 2005 and I find the writing to be embarrassing. The posts are rife with misspellings, strange uses of commas, and things that just don't make sense. At the time, I was still in young party-boy mode and it would be a few years before I would go into educated-professional thinking mode. I also tried to imitate the tone of a local radio personality named Tim Savage in my writing.

At the time, I worked swing shift and weekends as a Security Officer at a call center and went to school during the day. That Fall, however, I became stressed, so I decided to put school on hiatus until the next term. This blog was one of the things that filled in that extra time during the day.

The first blog post was titled "Happy Anniversary" to denote the first anniversary of this blog, even though it was actually the zeroth anniversary. I used the same configuration of fireworksy pictures that I use at the top of this and every consecutive anniversary blog post.

The next day, I posted the first ever Superstar of the Week. At the time, Superstar of the Week was merely a picture of some random person, usually a celebrity, and nothing else. The first Superstar of the Week was Alan Alda. I also included an Animal of the Week and This Weeks Moment in Evolution, which lasted for two weeks.

For Halloween, I wrote the first Nosferatu blog post.

In December, I quit my job so I could concentrate on school full time the following term.

I ended the year by declaring war on Bill O'Reilly and Christmas.

2006

2006 started off slow. There were two posts for January, one being a Superstar of the Week, and the other being a link to a video. The sole blog post for February consisted of a picture. There was no post for April. In May and June, I posted some writing assignments from school, and links to a comic strip I was working on called Crack Kills, which was basically a comic strip from high school that I had re-rendered in MS Paint.

In July, this blog really picked up. I began by creating a banner for this blog.

This banner is the reason why I have a pipe in every single one of my videos today... now you know. Basically, I decided to further play on the Masterpiece Theatre theme. Not that the picture necessarily has anything to do with Masterpiece Theatre. It's basically a parody of sophistication as represented by Masterpiece Theatre.

So I took a picture of myself with a pipe and a publication of The Odyssey and the Illiad in order to portray my parody of sophistication. I included the Masterpiece Theatre logo, only I replaced the word "Masterpiece" with "J-Dubb's."

Eventually, I created a smoking pipe icon which I placed next to my blog post titles, replacing the arrow icon which came with the template. This smoking pipe picture stuck as the J-Dubb's Theatre logo.

Trivia: The Odyssey and the Illiad has made several cameo appearances in my videos, including the most recent one.

Also that month, I brought back Superstar of the Week, as well as introduced "J-Dubb's Moral of the Week," and "This Weeks Moment of Natural Selection." Natural Selection was a retry at what "This Week's Moment in Evolution" was intended to be, and was eventually replaced by "Blooper of the Week."

That summer, my posts took on kind of a picture blog format. These posts consisted of commentaries on a series of pictures.

The month of August saw 27 blog posts, which is the current record for this blog.

In September, after watching Snakes on a Plane at the Baghdad Theater, I began a new school year. I had changed my major that year to graphic design.

In October, I featured the first Superstar of the Year, which was Chuck Norris. You know, that was the year of the Chuck Norris facts and all. For Halloween, I wrote my second Nosferatu post.

In November, I featured Gerald Ford as Superstar of the Week, eerily close to his death.

2007

So, in 2007, Burger King and X-Box were evil and the Colts won the Superbowl. At this time I was into watching YouTube videos. It started with Smosh, The Winekone, and Barats and Bereta. Then, I began to notice that YouTube had it's own community of video makers, and I wanted in.

I created my JDubbsTheatre YouTube channel in January. This was actually my second user name. I had another user name for commenting on videos called "theactualjdubb," you know, because the name JDubb was already taken. But then I deleted that account and created a director account under the JDubbsTheatre name.

In February, I posted my first video. It was basically an introduction video in which I recreated the scene from my blog banner, but in real life.

The first part of the year was mostly all YouTube videos. The Latest Rage was the video where I really started to get a feel for my own style.

That summer, just like the previous year, the written blog posts began to pick back up again. This included the reemergence of Superstar of the Week and the introduction of "Factoid of the Week," where I would take an urban legend from Snopes and reveal whether it were true or false.

Another Hallmark of that year was The Network series. This began with LisaNova's video, LisaNova does YouTube, where she kidnapped several YouTube celebrities of the time including TheWinekone, Smosh, TheHill88, and DaxFlame, and forced them to spam peoples YouTube accounts under her name. This video was preceded by her actually spamming hundreds of YouTube accounts in real life, a controversial event which angered a lot of YouTubers.

LisaNova does YouTube was probably the first major video collaboration between front page YouTubers, following a lesser known collaboration event between Nicky Nik, Boh3m3, Charles Trippy, and Corey Williams/ Mr. Safety.

In response to LisaNova Does YouTube, I posted J-Dubb Does LisaNova Does YouTube, in which I reveal myself to have actually observed the events of LNDYT behind the scenes. I ended this video by my encountering The Order from the Lonelygirl15 series. (an easter egg clip after the credits.)

In the following video, The Order has kidnapped me to turn me into a super soldier to do their bidding. Things don't go according to plan, however, and I make my escape. Following this video, I posted a series of blog posts chronicling the search for myself. This lead up to my next video, The Network.

The Network had to be split into two parts due to it's length. In this video, I have escaped from The Order only to find even bigger problems. I decided to drop the LG15 connection for this video. The organization which controls the television networks has taken over YouTube and YouTubers are disappearing only to be replaced. I have to save the day in a confrontation with "The Executive," who is named later on in the continuation of the series.

In October, Superstar of the Year was Peyton Manning, and I posted my first Halloween video. In November, Oprah started a YouTube channel and it caused an uproar. In December, I hit 100 subscribers on YouTube. The next hundred would take two years.

2008

2008 was a typical year. The posts slowed down at the beginning of the year.

I decided to become more social on YouTube and began to generate a small following. I also posted my first two real VLOGs, which I had attempted several times before but was never satisfied with the outcome. These were also the last two real VLOGs I posted for over a year. My YouTube networking became stifled.

That summer, I had planned to make a season two of The Network series. This was to be a social thing where I would leave video responses and collab with other YouTubers. The previous year, I'd had a lot of time off what with having only one class for summer term, which was shorter than the other terms of the year. But in 2008, I didn't have the time off that I anticipated, and once I launched season 2, I got stuck.

The Network season 2 began with the revelation that The Executive was stuck in my head and he ended up possessing me. He then made a video revealing his name to be Belphegor and announcing the startup of the New Network.

The series ran into Fall term, which was not intended. As my final term, which included an internship, I was extremely busy. Since The Network videos are highly involved, just how in the story I was stuck in my own head, in reality I was stuck in The Network series. I was able to post a new video about every two months. The following that I had started to generate began to fall away. But on the plus side, TheWinekone subscribed. I was pretty psyched about that seeing how he was one of the people who got me started on YouTube.

Also of note in 2008 is Moepickles.

I started to become sullen with YouTube. Views were going down for everyone who wasn't in the top 100. My following was dropping off. The featured section disappeared. Bulletins disappeared. The top 100 was becoming unrecognizable. And the YouTube community seemed to be dying and being replaced by a pseudo-Hollywood.

But we did get our first African American president.

And I finished school.

2009

In February of 2009, I joined Twitter, and became addicted throughout the year.

Oregon celebrated it's sesquicentennial.

I finally finished The Network in March. I was pleased with what I had produced, but was relieved to be able to return to my usual videos.

I upgraded to a much higher quality camera, which was a graduation present.

I watched the final season of Battlestar Galactica at Portland's Baghdad Theater.

There was great animosity toward YouTube in 2009. The old community split between the YouTube loyalists and Renetto's Vloggerheads. A vlogger named Mr.ChiCity posted a video called "YouTube is Dying" making some harsh claims about YouTube and the partnership program. This was all amplified by the YouTube redesign that some called HuluTube, but I like to call Y-Tube-K. And the channel redesign pissed off even those people who were loyal to YouTube. A lot of faces began to disappear from the community.

But, I did appear in my first collab video.

In April, I created a new banner for the blog, which is the current banner at the top of the site.

I began to shift my focus away from YouTube, as I felt that the community I had signed on for was pretty much gone. Instead, I began to focus more on a following of Portland based bloggers, podcasters, and media people on Twitter.

One of my last few videos for awhile was a shout out to the old YouTube.

In October, a boy got swept away by a weather balloon... but it turned out to be a hoax.

But the big event for the year was the KUFO firings. Local radio station 101 KUFO was bought out by new management. The personalities whom many felt were the last good thing on terrestrial radio were fired and replaced by middle-aged fratboy-wannabe jerkoffs. At this point, I turned my attention fully to the Portland community in support of the people who were fired.

One of these radio shows reincarnated in podcast form and merged with a local startup podcast network called PDX.fm. (recently changed to Cascadia.fm)

In November, I decided to change Superstar of the Week from being just a picture to being a full blog post.

And Daniel Baldwin moved to Portland.

2010

And finally, this year...

2010 has been very sparse as far as blog posts go. I started off disillusioned by YouTube, feeling that the community was gone, and had lost my motivation to post videos. On top of that, I had been unemployed for a while, and also lost my motivation to blog as well as fell off the face of Twitter. Basically, I removed myself from social media in order to focus on my job search.

In March, after three months of nothing, I decided to post a video. It was a Downfall parody where Hitler was angry that I had put him in another Downfall parody. This video has been removed.

Eventually, I came to a new conclusion about YouTube. I decided that I would be a part of the old YouTube community, even if I were to be the only member. So I began posting VLOGs. at first, these VLOGs made reference to the old community. But, as I picked back up again, I began to realize that there was still a community on YouTube after all. The face had changed a bit, but it was still there, and most of the naysayers of 2009 had left. The YouTube community had survived the Apocolypse. So I decided to be a part of the community once again.

It has been like starting over again. I have a few friends left over from the old days, but I began socializing and networking just like I wanted to do before, and my friends and viewers have been skyrocketing. My subscriber base has increased by hundreds within the year so far, not as much as some, but a lot more than I can say for the previous three years, and this is pretty inspiring.

So, I'm back in the swing of things.

Also, Superstar of the Week is back and I have introduced Absolutely True Fact of the Week.

So, if you are reading this, you have just been through a long winded blog post about the last five years of J-Dubb's Theatre. Good on you.

J-Dubb out.

The Internets iz Broken

2010-10-08T16:55:00.000-07:00

What would happen if the internet stopped working? This is the topic I've been asked to discuss for week 1 of the Don Vantel challenge. Here is my response. Please vote for this video by clicking the thumbs up button.

The Devil Sings "We Didn't Start the Fire"

2010-10-02T00:27:00.000-07:00

In 1990, the Devil was asked to cover the song, "We Didn't Start the Fire" for his new album... Awkward...

Absolutely True Fact of the Week

2010-09-29T15:52:00.001-07:00

Kurt Warner provided the voices for Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, and Tweety Bird in the original Warner Brothers cartoons.

Superstar of the Week is David Attenborough

2010-09-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

David Attenborough is a former BBC broadcaster and naturalist known for nature programs and the "Life" series on natural history. Why is he Superstar of the Week? I'll give you three reasons...

1. He's got a dinosaur named after him. It's called the Attenborosaurus. No joke.

2. He's the brother of Jurassic Park's Richard Attenborough.

3. To the best of my knowledge, numbers one and two are completely coincidental. The guy has a dinosaur named after him and a brother who starred in the most monumental dinosaur movie of all time. What are the odds?

.

The Key to Online Dating Success

2010-09-24T23:27:00.000-07:00

D. Baggins discusses the most important factor to online dating.

Absolutely True Fact of the Week

2010-09-22T16:33:00.001-07:00

Abraham Lincoln was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald.

The Machines are Taking Over!!

2010-09-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

People like to be able to control the things they own. Quit designing stuff that's intended to do the thinking for us.

The Best Job on the Planet can be Yours!!

2010-09-10T17:07:00.000-07:00

Have you hit the ceiling of your career? See what major career opportunity C4 (Clark County Community College) has to offer.

Absolutely True Fact of the Week

2010-09-08T13:07:00.000-07:00

A seahorse is a type of horse that lives under the sea.

Middle School Does Suck

2010-09-08T13:03:00.000-07:00

In this video, I respond to Meekakitty's video, "Middle School Sucks," by heartily agreeing.

Understanding Trolls

2010-08-28T08:40:00.000-07:00

Thank you for enrolling in webinomics 101. Today we will talk about the workings of the internet troll.

How to Get Views on YouTube

2010-08-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

In 2008, I posted a video called "Featured Video" where I did parodies of several videos and YouTube personalities who had a lot of views on YouTube. In 2010, it's a whole different YouTube, so I've posted a whole different video.

Justin Bieber Mauled by Grizzley... Water Bottle

2010-08-21T13:14:00.000-07:00

I talk about Justin Bieber getting pegged by a water bottle. Oh, and there's an Old Spice parody.

Fake

2010-08-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

There's a lot of people who like to write "fake" in video comments, even if there's absolutely no reason for the video to be "fake." It's freaking ridiculous.

Midnight Vlog

2010-07-31T17:04:00.000-07:00

You didn't think I'd let the weekend get here without posting a video, did you? Here's this weeks video. It's late. I mean literally, it's really freaking late at night, and it's chock full of randomey goodness.

YouTube's Wacky Changes

2010-07-31T17:03:00.000-07:00

YouTube seems to have a knack for making bizarre changes over the years. What do you think?

Vidcon Portland Recap

2010-07-31T17:02:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of recaps for the Vidcon in LA this past week. Here's the recap of Vidcon Portland.

Lindsay Lohan is Crazy

2010-07-31T17:01:00.000-07:00

Lindsay Lohan is batshit insane and now she's going to jail.

Clowns Are No Laughing Matter

2010-07-03T13:14:00.000-07:00

There's nothing funny about clowns. In this video, I'll tell you why.

Watch Clowns are no Laughing Matter.

Music by Kevin MacLeod

Superstar of the Week is Mick Jagger

2010-06-30T08:41:00.001-07:00

In the old days, men used to spend a lot of time on their hair and grooming in order to impress women. Men wanted to look handsome for the big date, or whatever. Then along came the concept of the butt-ugly rock star. Women flocked to these men in droves and they were ugly as sin. Now, thanks to guys like Mick Jagger, men know that it's not surface things like good looks that attract women; it's surface things like money and power.

Soccer/Football: What's in a name?

2010-06-25T11:44:00.000-07:00

So... What some countries refer to as soccer is known to most of the world as football. Meanwhile, there are seemingly different sports also known as football. Why is this? I'll explain it in this video.

Watch Soccer/Football: What's in a Name?

Music by Kevin MacLeod

Superstar of the Week is Sylvester Stallone

2010-06-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

Most people, in order to appeal to an audience, must be understood by said audience. That's why I've chosen Sylvester Stallone to be the Superstar of the Week. In the 80's and 90's, he was able to generate massive appeal from millions of fans who couldn't even understand a damn word he was saying.

As a matter of fact, was he even saying ANYTHING? The typical Stallone line seems to consist of "Brabljafrabren. Adriehhhh!! Rabrabzameeben." I mean, seriously, what the hell is that? How can someone gain such a big screen presence without even speaking an identifiable language?

But then, there do seem to be other actors capable of pulling off the same thing.

Nalts' Despicable Behavior

2010-06-21T22:34:00.001-07:00

Nalts has done it again, but this time he's gone too far. Get ready to be shocked and appalled in my latest video as I reveal Nalts' worst travesty ever.

Watch Nalts' Despicable Behavior

Music by Kevin MacLeod

Bad Customer Service

2010-06-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

Here's the new video where I discuss the suckiness of having to call customer service. Watch it or you will spend the rest of your life wondering what's missing.

Watch Bad Customer Service

Music by Kevin MacLeod

The Lamest Comment Ever Written

2010-06-12T14:41:00.000-07:00

Since the invention of internet video, people have been typing that "You wasted X minutes of my life" comment. This is the dumbest comment a person can write. Here's why...

Watch The Lamest Comment Ever Written

Music by Kevin MacLeod

YouTube's Fifth

2010-05-31T18:27:00.000-07:00

This year, YouTube is celebrating its 5th anniversary and YouTuber's are posting their "YouTube Stories." These stories can be uploaded to "the wall" on YouTube's FiveYear channel. I've decided to jump onto the bandwagon and post my own story, which I felt would be a good way to get view... er... share my story.

Watch My YouTube Story

Music by Kevin MacLeod

A Note From the Past

2010-05-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

A story about a bizarre coincidence centering around an old note that I found.

Watch A Note from the Past

Music by Kevin MacLeod

Gingers do Have Souls!!!!

2010-05-20T15:35:00.000-07:00

Today's DaxFlame Has Red Hair

Earlier, I came across a meme which goes by the name, CopperCab. This YouTube channel features an 18 year old boy with red hair and ghastly white skin. CopperCab, aka Michael, is enraged by a South Park episode which makes fun of ginger kids.

In the majority of Michael CopperCab's videos, he is hysterical; ranting and raving, freaking out, and casting lingering evil glances at the camera as if to steal the souls of all the non-ginger viewers. One of his most famous lines is, "gingers have souls!" His major shtick is that it's unacceptable to make fun of black people or Mexicans, but it is to make fun of gingers. In one of his videos, he rallies mass support for "the ginger race" via video response. Following his tirade, he ends every video with "Ginger and Proud." His first video is almost the second coming of "Leave Britney Alone."

So, as I started watching his videos, my first inclination was, "my god, something is seriously wrong with this kid." In his tirades, he often reminded me of DaxFlame. But as I watched, I put the pieces together and began to realize that CopperCab, much like DaxFlame, is in fact a troll. And I'm not the first person to figure this out, as in one of his videos he spends a lot of time yelling "I'm not fake!" in response to viewer comments. Sorry Mikey, we've seen it before.

The first thing that tipped me off was his profile pic. In this picture, he is posing in perfect lighting. This is not the picture of an angry kid, this is someone who wants to be seen.

I also found it odd that he's a partner and on his video pages, a bubble will pop up that says, "subscribe if you like my videos." This kid is performing for an audience. Also, one upload in which he responds angrily to a video by YouTube user, IshatOnU, he leaves a link up to the offending video throughout the entirety.

But what really convinced me was the phony crying in this video. "I'd like to thank the academy."

The latest upload shows an interesting change of pace in that CopperCab is actually happy and quite cheerful, with an eerie gleam in his eye. He states the reason for this uncharacteristic demeanor is that it's "national redhead day." He then goes on to explain how he read that gingers will likely be extinct in 60 years and that the "ginger race" needs to start "doing broods" and reproducing in order to avoid this.

Several parodies have been made of CopperCab, including South Park themselves in a commercial aired on Comedy Central.

Howard Stern Interview

2010-05-14T07:21:00.000-07:00

The wait is over. Now you know which celebrity I interviewed. Can you believe it? But, it wasn't quite what I expected. Howard has a big surprise... (No, not that. That hasn't been a surprise for a couple decades.)

Watch the Howard Stern Interview

Music by Kevin MacLeod

Farewell to PDX Sucks/ Hails to The Morning Submission

2010-05-07T16:34:00.000-07:00

Today marked the last airing of Portland based podcast, Portland Sucks, aka PDX Sucks. Unfortunately I haven't been able to tune in to the live airing of PDX Sucks very often for the last few months, but when I did, it was always a fun experience. The show would include real time chatting with the hosts, an experience only the internet could offer, and it was always fun to see how they would respond to comments.

Today, I had to make the time to tune in to the final podcast. Hosts Robert Wagner and Sabrina Miller explained how the main reason for this is that the name "Portland Sucks" simply isn't marketable, as it tends to scare away advertisers and media people, and Wagner needs to put bread on the table.

They also talked about how PDX Sucks began as the blog of an out of place Seattlite trying to make heads or tails out of the strange Portland crowd. Eventually it became a daily podcast which lead to the launching of PDX.fm, home to several Portland based podcasts, including the legendary Cort and Fatboy show.

But all is not lost. Come Monday morning, the hosts of PDX Sucks will return, along with Jay Mackin of Unibash Radio and Emily Gibson of The Meat Show, to form a new entity known as The Morning Submission.

Weather: The Cheater Exposed

2010-04-26T21:28:00.001-07:00

I'm angry. The weather is a freaking cheater! Watch my rant, Weather: The Cheater Exposed

Music by Kevin MacLeod

Video Apathy

2010-04-20T14:34:00.001-07:00

In this video, I have no idea what to make a video about... or do I? This video pretty much covers the spectrum of videos that I have done in the past.

Watch Video Apathy

Music by Kevin MacLeod

The First Video Ever Posted to YouTube

2010-04-06T11:50:00.001-07:00

On April 23, 2005, YouTube co-founder, Jawed Karim, uploaded the very first video to the site. It was called "Me at the Zoo." On April 5, 2010, YouTube poster J-Dubb of J-Dubb's Theatre made a reenactment of that video. This is that video...

Watch my video, The First Video on YouTube.

Watch the actual first video, Me at the Zoo.

Music by Kevin MacLeod
.

Gary Coleman Getting Taller

2010-04-01T09:19:00.001-07:00

Doctors are Baffled over Gary Coleman's Recent Growth

Who'd have thought; at age 42, Arnold of "Different Strokes" has actually started growing. Congenital kidney disease stunted Coleman's growth at 4' 8" (1.42m). According to doctors, this should have lead to a brief lifetime of dwarveness followed by a slow and brutal demise. But Gary Coleman has surpassed all odds by living to age 42 and beginning to grow at an age when most human bodies start to give up the good fight and work against themselves.

After suffering from a seizure late last February, doctors found that Coleman had actually grown 1 3/4" since the measurements recorded in his medical records, making him nearly 5' even. Since then, there has been continued growth and Coleman is now clearing 5' 1". Because of the continued growth, doctors speculate that this growth spurt probably began shortly before the seizure.

"The seizure probably isn't related to the growth," said one doctor, "but it's amazing that this happened just in time for us to catch this growth spurt. We have no idea why this would suddenly occur at his age. It's really really weird."

"I'm okay with being short," said Coleman, "But still, it'll be cool to be regular size. I always feel like people are trying not to smirk when I waddle around in my little security uniform. Now that I'm just a regular sized short person, people feel free to laugh out loud. That's good. I just want people to be comfortable around me."

One doctor speculates that this longevity and sudden growth spurt may be a side effect from tremendous amounts of Viagra. "He's a busy little fella," said Dr. Ravenscroft of St. Vincent Hospital.

"Wow, this is like some crazy sci-fi stuff," said Chief Medical Officer, Cliff Armstrong. "Maybe he'll go from being like really short to being really tall. Maybe he's like a super hero or something! Yeah, that'd be awesome!"

"One thing's for sure," said Arnold, er, I mean Gary Coleman. "Sex will be different now. I hope I still like it."

"Still like it?" said the reporter. "Watchoo talkin 'bout?"

Coleman then gave an irritated glare and the interview ended.

Not Another Hitler Bunker Scene Video

2010-03-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

We've seen them popping up all over the web for over a year now; video clips from a German movie involving Hitler freaking out in his bunker. These videos have been outfitted with humorously disassociated subtitles. There are so many different instances of this gag, you could spend a lifetime watching them all. Actually, I don't know if that's true... at all, but there are a lot of them. Many of these videos are quite funny... others are kinda lame.

Hitler has grown awfully tired of these subtitled videos of him freaking out in his bunker. But like it or not, there's one more, and Hitler is quite enraged by this. Here is that video.

Not Another Hitler Bunker Scene Video

.

Sponsoring Tiger Woods

2010-02-26T09:07:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed that J-Dubb's Theatre has been inactive lately. You did notice right? You thought about it at least once didn't you? Of course you did... right?

You burned and pined for the empty chasm in your soul which can only be filled with J-Dubb's Theatre, didn't you!!

Well, anyway, the reason for this inactivity is that we have been busy finalizing our sponsorship deal with Tiger Woods. That's right, I have decided that Tiger Woods makes the perfect spokesman for J-Dubb's Theatre... mainly because nobody else wants to sponsor him right now and his rates have dropped dramatically so I can finally afford him.

Funny thing how when Tiger Woods read his apology, people had to make this big thing about "was it really heartfelt or was he just reading a script?" Really? You were really hoping for conviction? What world are you living in people? He had to read a prepared statement to assuage the media just like everyone else whom they sick their bloodthirsty dogs upon for the sake of making a buck. Why haven't you figured out how it works yet? The only reason you find this important is because it showed up on the magic picture box.

And of course the parental types like to complain during this type of situation that "he's a role model who kids look up to and he has a responsibility."

Hello!? The only reason he's a role model is because years ago the media found him to be marketable, so they gave him coverage and made him a celebrity and he got sponsorships from fortune 500s galore. The media made him a role model. Now, decades later, the media has targeted something in his personal life... maybe not something good, but it's none of my fucking business... and the same media that decided he was marketable as a celebrity all those years ago has now decided to market him as a scandal instead. It happens all the freaking time! How do these people not notice this?

Now, the media's gotta make a buck and this is how they've chosen to do it. Personally, I prefer to do it by providing services which contribute to society rather than making bad entertainment and calling it news so that people will watch it... but to each his own.

And so without further adieu...

Tiger Woods: The media built him up. The media broke him back down. Now he's the official spokesman for J-Dubb's Theatre.

And Another

2010-01-03T14:54:00.000-08:00

I would write about how weird it is to be writing another post about the new year when it seems like I only just wrote the one from the previous year, but that's getting a little old. Come to think of it, that's what I just wrote, isn't it?

So, that was 2009. Hell, that was the 2000s. From the things that people wrote on New Year's Eve, there didn't seem to be much love for this past year. I spent 2009 unemployed and tightly budgeted, myself. There were a lot of things I didn't get to do this year that I normally would have. I virtually let my YouTube channel go. I still posted a video every month or so, but I pretty much kept things simple and didn't really get anybody else involved. Nothing wrong with that; my best ideas are the simple ones I come up with off the cuff.

Besides being unemployed and somewhat restricted, I didn't really mind this year. 2006 was pretty much my infamous year. I'm not gonna get too much into the details in this post, but ultimately, I'm in a better mind set now than I was in 2006. I had a lot of anxiety that year, whereas now I'm better able to just relax and make the best of things.

As for the 2000s; the consensus seems to be based around a Time article with the melodramatic title, The Worst Decade Ever. Sure, the decade began with the tragedy of 911, there was a war, there were natural disasters, and it ended with a recession, but the worst? Really? This is a freakin decade we're talking about. A whole freaking decade! Of course there were tragedies in the span of a decade, there always are. The three preceding decades may have been less tragic, but the world didn't begin with the 70s.

Also, the 2000s comprised my entire 20s. 22 days after Y2K, I turned 20. I was in the Air Force, stationed in Japan, at the time. After that, I went to Phoenix for a couple years. When that was over, I moved back up to Oregon. I've worked security and I've studied psychology, graphic design, and web development. I finished school and spent the last months of the decade looking for work and taking odd jobs.

My personal philosophy has undergone a lot of change. I began the decade as a confused liberal trapped in a conservative's body. I've gone on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride as I searched from place to place for the right answer to... whatever. And in the end, I seem to have solidified into a mindset based on simply making use of the present moment.

In nineteen days from now, my 20's will end. As I approached 29, my youth fleeting behind me, I felt as if I were getting too old too fast. But now, on the verge of 30, it feels more like a beginning.

Happy New Year.

Superstar of the Week is Danny DeVito

2009-12-31T15:52:00.000-08:00

Look at the little bugger. What a freakin goofball. Who else can pull off playing The Terminator's twin in a movie while being 5 feet, bald, and the complete opposite of anything athletic? No one, that's who. And unlike Arnold, he was actually a perfect fit for his role in Batman as The Penguin. Arnold as Mr. Freeze? Really? Mr. Freeze was a geeky pencil-neck scientist who was enhanced by a mechanical suit, not the beefed up Austrian monstrosity which is Arnold.

But then again, "Batman and Robin" may be along the lines of being one of the worst movies ever, not unlike Highlander the Source, and the casting of Arnold was only one of a multitude of things that are upsetting about that movie's existence. What was up with the Bane character? Bane is supposed to be savvy and intelligent, not some mindless oaf who speaks in one word sentences.

God what a horrible movie. The first movie was a classic. Batman Returns was good. But then Joel Schumaker came along and wrenched the series from Tim Burton's hands, as well as its fan base. I don't know if he was trying too hard to be "Tim Burtony" or what, but what a train wreck. God, seriously... Batman and Robin was a horrible horrible Batman adaptation.

And that's what I have to say about Danny DeVito.

Superstar of the Week is Thurl Ravenscroft

2009-12-24T17:00:00.000-08:00

This man, who looks a lot like some cliche villain from a 1960's movie, was a voice actor known for his deep booming voice. He is best known for the voice of Tony the Tiger. He also provided the voice for the buffalo head at Disneyland's former attraction, The Country Bear's Jamboree. But he is rarely attributed to what may be his best known work. The familiar bass singing you hear in Dr. Seuss' animated classic, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" is none other than Thurl Ravencroft.

Many people mistake the voice of this classic song as belonging to Boris Karloff, despite the fact that this voice doesn't really sound like Boris Karloff. This is because Karloff narrates the story as well as provides the voice for the Grinch. But some incompetent bastard forgot to add Thurl to the credits, an error which somehow slipped past editing, and to this day people still attribute this classic performance to Boris.

The Grinch song can now be heard as sung by the voice of Tay Zonday.

J-Dubb's E-Begging Campaign

2009-12-19T11:58:00.000-08:00

So, awhile back I made a video discussing the controversy of E-Begging. In this video, I try my hand at it.

Watch J-Dubb's E-Begging Campaign

Music by Kevin MacLeod

Store Renovations: WHY!?

2009-12-17T17:12:00.000-08:00

Store Renovations = Great way to annoy your customers

Seriously, what's the deal!? Why do stores feel the need to move all their inventory around every two years? Does some exec walk through the store going, "hmm, the peanut butter just isn't working over here where we decided to put it last time. Why not put it over there where the soups are. Speaking of the soups, they'd be more efficient over there. And these potato chips; all wrong. They'd be more feng shui a little closer to the produce section."

Seriously, what is the rationale behind this? There is no logical reason to shift your store all around like a giant rubik's cube! But somewhere, somebody is writing something down on paper in such a way that convinces someone else that a renovation has to be done. What is it? How are you convincing your bosses that a renovation is a good idea?

Here's what happens: Some executive, likely with a job title that has the word "planner" or "coordinator" in it, sits around with no work to do. So they have to come up with something to make it seem like they're actually getting paid for a reason. It's about job security. So what do they do? They plan and coordinate merely for the purpose of planning and coordinating. But since they don't really have any creativity, all they can come up with to plan and coordinate is a store renovation. Now they're not just getting paid for doing nothing, they're actually getting paid to halt the store's productivity. It's like paying the hospital for infecting you with a virus.

Stores, Stop it! Stop listening to whomever this is who keeps deciding to renovate. I don't know who they are, but fire them. They are a drain on your resources. Renovation is not only pointless, it is a bad idea. And I'm not just whining because something changed. Renovation is a bad idea!

So, basically, you're compromising productivity while pouring manpower into the act of pissing off your customers. Customers hate this. They avoid your store while the renovation is underway because nobody wants to navigate a cart around misplaced isles and bustling employees. But then, once all is said and done, you create a circus as lost shoppers hustle around trying to find your misplaced items.

Your customers don't go to your store wanting to partake in a fun scavenger hunt as they try to locate the items on their list. Your customers want to go in, get what they're there for, then go home and throw their shoes off.

This would be bad enough if only one or two people frequented your store at a time, but that's not how it works. There are a lot of people in this world, and many of them are shopping at your store all at the same time. A store can be chaotic enough as it is with people not watching where they're going, suddenly stopping right in front of you, and leaving grocery carts in the middle of isles. But throw in the added element of people not knowing where to find things because everything's been changed around and you have a zoo.

Now, Albertson's was the guilty party today, but they all do this. In fact, Fred Meyer probably does it more than any store I've ever seen. But there's absolutely no real reason for doing this. I don't care what's on some piece of paper explaining why stores need to renovate, or what rationale a bunch of people around a conference table came up with. There is no reason for it, other than to preserve some useless job titles.

Stop it! Bad store!

Superstar of the Week is Ramblin Rod

2009-12-16T17:19:00.000-08:00

Who is this Ramblin Rod? If you grew up in the Portland area, you already know. For the rest of you however; Ramblin Rod ran a cartoon show in the afore mentioned Portland area from 1964 to 1997, and as per the testimony of many former kids, he was a dick. Now, I never met the guy myself, but seeing how everything I have heard seems to confirm this (and I have heard nothing which contaradicts this) it seems that the man with a million buttons on his sweater was a huge prick.

I don't remember much about the live show in between cartoons, but the thing I remember the most is that it always began by showing a phony TV set that looked a lot like an Etch a Sketch with legs. A hand would tune this TV using the white Etch a Sketch knobs, until a voice said "Now it's time for the Ramblin Rod show." Then the knobs would pop off the TV and dance around, still connected by what seemed to be optic nerves.

The show itself consisted of a studio which contained a "peanut gallery" of about 50 kids. There was a smile contest and a birthday celebration. Kids all over the Portland area wanted to appear on The Ramblin Rod Show to be on TV. When they did, they discovered that when the camera wasn't rolling, Rod was a crank.

So, in a nutshell, Ramblin Rod was a grump with a cartoon show and a whole bunch of buttons on his freakin sweater.

Oh, and yes, I said "was." RIP 1933 - 2002

Superstar of the Week is Jan Crouch

2009-12-10T16:02:00.000-08:00

The superstar this week is Jan Crouch. She's a singer and aspiring super model who is in love with a small green frog made of felt.

Oh wait... I'm thinking of someone else.

So... Jan Crouch; she is the stuff nightmares are made of. With that big poofy hair, layers of eye makeup, and that menacing grin; Pennywise used to have his parents check under his bed to make sure Jan Crouch wasn't hiding under there. But they didn't, because they were too afraid that she might actually be there, waiting to devour their brains. So they all barricaded themselves in a room with flashlights and didn't get an ounce of sleep. Really... that's Pennywise's back story. Just ask Steven King.

Now days, Jan Crouch sits upon her golden throne as she rules the Galactic Empire.

"As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station!"

And that's all there is to say about Jan Crouch.

Superstar of the Week is Mathew Roberts

2009-12-01T15:42:00.000-08:00

Los Angeles DJ, Mathew Roberts, has ended the search for his biological father. The vegetarian and fan of Mahatma Gandhi has been informed by his birth mother that his biological father is in fact Charles Manson. Yes, "that" Charles Manson. Peace-loving Mathew Roberts is doing his best to cope with this new information.

Man discovers long lost dad is Charles Manson

Superstar of the Week is Danny MacAskill

2009-11-23T09:04:00.000-08:00

Stunt cyclist, Danny MacAskill of Edinburgh Scottland, was recently put out of commission after suffering an injury which required hospitalization. The daredevil, known for pushing the limits of human ability with his treacherous stunts, was out taking a walk when he tripped over a curb and broke his collar bone.

BBC News

Superstar of the Week is Daniel Baldwin

2009-11-16T14:08:00.000-08:00

Wait... what?? Who? Is there really such a person? Superstar of the week has featured many people from celebrities, to news makers, to random people from Google searches. Even puppets and household appliances have been featured. Never before has an imaginary person been featured for Superstar of the Week, right?

Well, believe it or not, Daniel Baldwin is in fact a real person. He is the brother of Alec Baldwin.

You mean that crazy religious guy who stars in B movies and reality shows?

No, that's Steven Baldwin. This is Daniel Baldwin.

But why feature Daniel Baldwin? What has he ever done? At least The Count provides kids with educational entertainment, Don Polinski is some Canadian park supervisor, and the Kenmore washer and dryer set gets your clothes clean. What has Daniel Baldwin done to be featured?

He's Alec and Steven's brother.

We know who they are. Who the hell is Daniel?

Look, you don't have to actually do anything to be Superstar of the Week. All you have to do is exist. I could feature this piece of paper in front of me if I wanted. That doesn't do anything either.

Sure it does. It has provided you with a place to scribble notes and e-mail addresses and has the potential to serve as a paper airplane or waste-basketball.

But Daniel Baldwin breathes and eats. That's something.

Well... that's true.

So it's settled. Daniel Baldwin: he eats and breathes and now he's the Superstar of the Week.

The Return of the Cort and Fatboy Show

2009-11-13T16:41:00.000-08:00

Three weeks after the firings from the infamous radio station, the Cort and Fatboy Show podcasts have returned. The show contains all the familiar features and accompanying sound bites, including "Fatboy's Dirty Laundry" and "Cort's Backstage Blog." As well, the regular guest spots have returned, including Aaron Duran, Byron Beck, and Mike Russel. The only difference is that the show is now deplete of regular interruptions from a crappy and repetitive music selection.

If you like podcasts, visit cortandfatboy.com for a dose of "daily mediocrity". Livestreaming is weekdays at 2pm and recordings are uploaded at 3pm. Subscribe via iTunes, RSS, or Miro.

Go here to read what I wrote about the firings.

As for the Rick Emerson show: Rick Emerson still has his other show, Outlook Portland. Old episodes can be seen on the station's YouTube channel.

Sarah X. Dylan and Greg Nibbler have started their own podcast, Funemployment Radio.

Tim Riley is blogging away.

And J-Dubb can be seen via his YouTube channel...

Okay, that last one doesn't have anything to do with anything. I just wanted to promote myself.

cortandfatboy.com

Superstar of the Week is Mary Strey

2009-11-02T16:57:00.000-08:00

Mary Strey of Wisconsin has performed her citizenly duties. On the night of October 24, 2009, Mary called 911 to report a dangerous drunk driver. The driver was shortly arrested and removed from the roads, making the night that much safer. Who was this drunk driver? None other than Mary Strey of Wisconson.

Hear the recording of Mary Strey reporting herself to the 911 dispatcher.

...

Superstar of the Week Reformat

2009-11-02T16:12:00.000-08:00

So, every week during the summer/fall time period, I choose a random person (or inanimate object as in some cases) to feature as the "Superstar of the Week." Basically, I post a picture of the person/object, and that's about it. One thing I've been noticing this time around is that it really waters down my blog in between real posts; especially if I go a week or more without posting anything else.

I started Superstar of the Week when I began this blog as sort of a humor piece... featuring random people for no apparent reason. But then, after the first couple months of blogging, my frequency of posting began to decline, and Superstar of the Week went by the wayside for awhile.

In using Blogger's blog search feature, I've found that the typical blog seems to only last a couple of months. There are a lot of long abandoned ghost blogs out there, and mine had the potential to become one of them. But I decided to stick with it, and I brought back Superstar of the Week a couple of times after long droughts just to show that this blog wasn't dead yet. Eventually, it just became the tradition to bring back the Superstar every summer and let it go by the way in the winter.

Superstar of the Week also came to serve as sort of a filler. In the beginning, it was more difficult for me to think of and articulate ideas to blog about, and this served as a lazy way to show activity on this blog in between real posts. In the last couple of years, however, blog posts have been pretty regular and a lot more outspoken (take this "quick note" on Superstar of the Week for example).

I feel like Superstar of the Week sort of gets in the way of the real posts now... not to mention the joke has run its course. I thought about just doing away with it altogether. I would still have Superstar of the Year and do Superstar of the Week as well as the other weekly features for Halloween week. But instead, I've decided to let Superstar of the Week evolve... From now on, my challenge for Superstar of the Week is to actually write something about the person I'm featuring, turning Superstar of the Week into an actual blog post. I'm guessing readers will appreciate this, as well.

And so, without further adieu, Superstar of the Week this week is...

Strain - H1N1

2009-10-31T14:56:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween. Here is my new video. This is a dark and tragic tale. Parental discretion is advised.

Watch Strain - H1N1

Music by Kevin MacLeod